Thursday, June 23, 2011

I feel so stupid

I feel so stupid that I bought two Holly Hobbie decorative plates to hang in the room of the daughter I'll never have.

I feel so stupid that I signed up for the gift registry at Babies 'R' Us so I could use it as a wishlist when the time came...and the time never came.

I feel so stupid that I switched to all natural soaps, lotions, cosmetics, detergents, cleaning supplies because I thought it would improve my fertility.

I feel so stupid that I actually bought a cloth shower curtain because the mildew resistant ones are toxic.

I feel so stupid that I drank spinach-berry-kefir smoothies everyday for months and months and months so my body would be a nice healthy home for a baby that doesn't exist.

I feel so stupid that I have been taking prenatal vitamins and folic acid for over a year.

I feel so stupid because that one time my husband offered me a sip of his cocktail, I said no...just in case.

I feel so stupid that I convinced my husband to cancel the Caribbean cruise we booked because I would probably be too pregnant to travel.

I feel so stupid for spending so many hours thinking of baby names.

I feel so stupid for choosing to rent a two-bedroom townhouse.

I feel so stupid for worrying about how to handle the cat around the non-existent baby.

I feel so stupid for signing up for thebump.com

I feel so stupid for taking numerous pregnancy tests...like I had a chance.

I feel so stupid for drinking all of that orange juice.

I feel so stupid for not taking Nyquil that time I felt sick...just in case.

I feel so stupid for keeping a running list of things/books I want my make-believe baby girl to have.

I feel so stupid for getting excited if I felt nauseous. I'm not cool enough for morning sickness.

I feel so stupid for buying all those pregnancy test (had to mention it twice).

I feel so stupid that I always thought/knew my babies would be cuter than my cousins' kids.

1 comment:

  1. Girrrllll... what's going on? I want to hear from you and I love that you post real stuff from your heart - are these all things you wrote? Email me, I care and I'm praying for you.

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