Monday, June 27, 2011

I Hate Summer

I don't understand why anyone would like summer. These are a few reasons why I hate it:


  1. It's hot. Way too hot.


  2. Oh, the humidity!


  3. Sweating


  4. Sweat=stink


  5. Extra pimples


  6. Sunburn


  7. To avoid sunburn you must put on goopy, smelly, sticky lotion that makes your skin shiny and more pimply


  8. Frizzy hair


  9. It's so darn hot I don't understand why anyone wants to leave the house


  10. Air conditioning=high electric bills


  11. Your makeup melts right off your face


  12. You have to shave your legs more


  13. It's so much harder to sleep when it's hot


  14. Pit stains are not classy

Thursday, June 23, 2011

I feel so stupid

I feel so stupid that I bought two Holly Hobbie decorative plates to hang in the room of the daughter I'll never have.

I feel so stupid that I signed up for the gift registry at Babies 'R' Us so I could use it as a wishlist when the time came...and the time never came.

I feel so stupid that I switched to all natural soaps, lotions, cosmetics, detergents, cleaning supplies because I thought it would improve my fertility.

I feel so stupid that I actually bought a cloth shower curtain because the mildew resistant ones are toxic.

I feel so stupid that I drank spinach-berry-kefir smoothies everyday for months and months and months so my body would be a nice healthy home for a baby that doesn't exist.

I feel so stupid that I have been taking prenatal vitamins and folic acid for over a year.

I feel so stupid because that one time my husband offered me a sip of his cocktail, I said no...just in case.

I feel so stupid that I convinced my husband to cancel the Caribbean cruise we booked because I would probably be too pregnant to travel.

I feel so stupid for spending so many hours thinking of baby names.

I feel so stupid for choosing to rent a two-bedroom townhouse.

I feel so stupid for worrying about how to handle the cat around the non-existent baby.

I feel so stupid for signing up for thebump.com

I feel so stupid for taking numerous pregnancy tests...like I had a chance.

I feel so stupid for drinking all of that orange juice.

I feel so stupid for not taking Nyquil that time I felt sick...just in case.

I feel so stupid for keeping a running list of things/books I want my make-believe baby girl to have.

I feel so stupid for getting excited if I felt nauseous. I'm not cool enough for morning sickness.

I feel so stupid for buying all those pregnancy test (had to mention it twice).

I feel so stupid that I always thought/knew my babies would be cuter than my cousins' kids.